Wife dropped the bomb Part 2

[HopeTex]

Got the kids off to school without a hitch - Go Dad! GRandparents have them thru Saturday, then I have them thru Wednesday. THat will be a big challenge but I am up to it.

Had lunch with a divorced buddy and he confirmed my guess that I will typically feel better when I am with the kids.

Felt so-so this morning after dropping the kids off, but better than yesterday. I tend to gain strength/stability as the day goes on. Today I was actually somewhat productive at work. It is hard to describe to people who have not been thru it how excruciating this part of D is - the move out and the weeks following the move out. But every guy who has been divorced that I have talked to says they felt the same way. Just about the worst feeling ever. We lost a newborn baby a decade ago, and maybe I just have blacked it out, but I don't remember feeling this much pain even then.

Things are still cordial and cooperative with the W. It takes all I can muster to not let on to her the anguish I am in, I just act calm and kind of quiet when I am with her. Looking forward to some day being more relaxed and jovial around her. But right now I just feel rejected and ill, and a little mad, so I can't fake (or be) jovial yet.

Not sure what her state of mind is right now. I do notice that she, like me, has lost a lot of weight. And she was skinny to start with, so she looks a bit emaciated. But she is acting happy and normal when we are around people. I imagine her main worries right now are the kids and her finances.