Let's try this again

[woundedfool]

Sandi - I wish I could have give more time than allowing him to move back in.. It will be about 10 weeks when he moves back in. Financially it just wasn't really possible. A lot of our issue preDB were financial related and we both didn't want the finances to be a hardship anymore than they already will be from the debt H has accrued. I am by no means making excuses for him just trying to explain it better. Ideally we would have dated and spent more time figuring things out. Luckily I am still working my second job until December so it puts us crossing paths on my days off and it allows him to run the household when he moves back in on the days I am at work (I leave the house at 5am and usually don't get home until 9pm) so it is good for the boys and me as well for him to manage the household.

I agree you should have had more time before moving back in, not to be totally punitive; but in that spirit: He made his bed, now sleep in it. Plus it give a chance for you to have some "you time". But if the wheels are already in motion to change.... as long as you are comfortable, and still recognize the need to stay on top of old habits.... so be it.

But geez couldn't he have found this out by something less traumatic! What's done is done but it still stings.

No real suggestion here, other then: there is no "harm" is keeping that abated... in fact (and as always IANAL) it probably protects you from his decisions during the separation.

The big thing I struggle with is did H come back because Ow broke up with him? I've asked. He stands by no. But I KNOW she ended it.

Anyway.. None of that really matters because it is the past but wondering why he came back still gets to me. Is he being honest? the sad part is I don't know that I'll ever truly know.

You kind of said it... none of it really matters. Would you feel better if he left because of a pregnancy scare? an accident? financial reasons? drug or alcohol problem? legal problem? Hell, I think I even specifically said something like "19girl is a typical teenager... she will dump him once the novelty wears off, or wakes up and realizes: holy crap, I am dating a 40 year old". So you might need to put her on your Christmas card list for the gift she gave you.

Whatever the reason, it was serendipitous... don't look a gifthorse in the mouth.