Has anyone seen a case of this being successful when OP is not removed completely?
NO! OMG, do you see what you are doing now?
This isn't being asked as an excuse- it's a question I'm looking for an honest answer for. If our pro marriage, solution based MC hadn't recommended it, I wouldn't even be considering it. I've been asking myself if it's an option I should even be considering. I'm looking for more info before making any type of decision and that would involve discussing the logistics in our next MC appt. And to Starsky's point, I do have serious concerns about W regaining feelings for me while OM has not been removed completely and I stated that in MC.
The fact that she said (in front of MC) that she'd be willing to shut down FB and bring me along when she goes to meet up with those friends does show me that she's willing to move in the right direction. For what it's worth, I would venture a guess that W hangs out with that group maybe once every 2 weeks, if that. She's a sub for their volleyball team (which ends this weekend) so sometimes plays or watches. So it's not like she's with them every weekend (she usually has the kids). Are there other ways to remain in contact with OM? Of course, but that would be the case whether full transparency existed or not.
True or not, W has told me (and MC) that she has no problem giving up contact with OM as it was never about him. Not excusing it, but I get that- we've been apart for a year and it did not become a 'relationship' until after we were S. Is it an A if you date someone while S from your spouse? I have my own personal beliefs on that, but that's not a black and white answer for some. However, she's stated her issue with full transparency is more of a control thing. Her feeling like I act like a dad to her was a big hangup in our M. She thinks I'll drive myself (and her) crazy looking for 'something' I can use against her. I admit the old Tarheel probably would have done that.
