If you truly understood and believed in YOUR worth…..
Quote:
Like he didn't "man up/grow up" soon enough and I will resent this
This ^^^^ would not be a FEAR of YOURS.
I suspect that if you go and read Pearl, that you will find someone the truly dropped the rope. The learned her own self worth and KNEW that she was worth MORE. You have never left your BF for any extended period of time. You have never really dropped the rope. You never really allowed him to miss you and realize what HIS life would be without YOU in it. WHY? IMO, because you love HIM more than yourself and because coming to the realization that you actually may need to start over is too overwhelming for you. I get it. I get that FEAR paralyzes you. I get that you FEEL that HE is the best thing for YOU. I get that the thought of walking away from a business that you helped build [censored].
What I hope you see one day…is the longer you stay on the Ferris wheel the longer YOU prolong YOUR pain. The longer YOU sit in limbo. I have said to you before that YOU decide when this is over. Many have said to you…that you need to let go. You refuse to. You hold on to him….to every word he says….to every “maybe” her gives you….to every crumb he drops. Cause ya do not want to let go.
The funny thing is……you have not tried it. You have not even given truly letting go a shot. What if…….when you finally said to him. I have accepted that you cannot give me what I want. I will no longer wait for you. Good luck and god Bless you. Let’s move forward with splitting the business (even if that means that you get less)…and then MM….you begin to piece your life back together. You begin the live the words that you yourself write. What if….trying something different yields a different result.
Then again….
You can stay on the Merry Go Round….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Stop! Wait….he just threw a crumb….let me bend down and pick it up. Okay. Great. Wait…I want more. Okay he said no that is pressure. Time to get back on.
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Fast forward…3 years…..
Stop. He said he loves me. YIPEE. It is a crumb. I did it. I outlasted him. Yipee. Wait….oh no….oh no….he is saying it too much pressure. Time to get back on.
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Fast forward…3 more years…..
STOP! Holy cow I need to start thinking about retirement. Okay…lemme ask him. BF, do you think we can discuss the business and what is owed to me? I am getting older and I need to think about how I am gonna live. What? You’ll take care of me. Oh..okay but can we still figure out how I can get what I am owed? What? That is too much pressure? Okay…lemme get back on…..
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Round and round she goes….
Fast forward…10 more years…..
Whew…I am tired. Been on this freaking Ferris wheel so damn long. What is that BF? What? Your not feeling well? What…your gonna shut the business down and move to timbuktoo? Great. When do we leave? What do you mean I can’t come? Wait…what about my share of the business? Wait…I believed you? I thought…but you said…. That is not right – I was waiting this out. Waiting for your MLC to end. What is that? I can’t hear you? Did you just say to me that I CHOOSE to wait? No…no…this is your fault…all your fault…come back here….come back here….stop….stop…. (thinking to herself…MM says….”I get him”…”I’ll get him”). Ummm…yes HI I am looking for my BF, he has vanished. Can you help me find him? What…he moved where? WTF……WTF……
MM – read this slowly…………very slowly…….
Is this what you want?
It is time MM, time to put on your big girl panties and finally stand up for what YOU want.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
