Thanks for checking on me, G! I had a long post typed up a couple of days ago and then my computer gave me the blue screen of death, so I lost it.
A lot is happening -- some good, some bad -- but I don't feel very much movement in my sitch at all right now. I also don't think I've been very "good" at DBing over the last couple of weeks. But maybe, since we're trying to work on the M, it's okay to have more R talk, pursuit, etc?
I had pulled way back again in the week before our 2nd MC session -- LC related to our D7 and logistics only. This was the week that H kept apologizing for being rude to me one morning on the phone.
The night before MC, he watched D7 at my house while I went to a GAL activity. He was grumpy when he arrived but I decided not to say anything and see what happened when I got back. Unfortunately, when I came home he was asleep on the couch and I had to wake him up, which reignited (or exacerbated) his grumpiness. We had an awkward goodbye and then about 10 minutes later I texted him and said that I was feeling really defeated because I had given him space all week and it just seemed to make him more distant. I told him that I was so close to giving up and I wanted a reason to keep fighting.
He texted me back at 5am and said he was sorry that I was feeling defeated and asked if we could talk during the day before MC. I said yes and we set a time. He called me later that morning and basically said that he didn't have the words to reassure me but he doesn't want me to give up. I told him I felt like we were hanging by a thread and he said that he felt he was communicating otherwise, that he doesn't feel close to giving up right now. (I really feel like I'm getting mixed messages here.) We agreed that we wouldn't resolve everything in one phone call, that we're both still trying, and that we'd see each at MC that afternoon.
I'll come back and post about MC session itself in a little while.
