wife needs time to figure things out, need advice

[25yearsmlc]

Sorry, forgot #2

So, a few days ago I did something knew I probably shouldnt have. She doesnt have a ring anymoe, so i bought her one.

A woman who isn't sure if she wants to be married to you now, who wants a separation, and you think you "probably shouldn't have" given it to her. Correct. Big mistake.
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I did not give it to her right away, I was going to wat for the right time. Things have been going really good, We have been laughing at times, she seems happier, she even returns my hugs and such with more emotion. For lack of a better term, it felt good.

Yes I'm sure it did, but those are the words of a boy, not a man. Show some restraint. If you really want her to feel heard and respected, stop pushing for so much.
And make no mistake, that RING was not "just a gift", it's symbolic of a commitment she does NOT feel towards you. It's there to reassure YOU.
IF you wanted to Just get her a gift, a necklace would have worked without all the blatant strings attached that exist with RINGS.

Do you see that now?

So this morning, I told her "I have something I've been wanting to give to you", I pulled the ring out of my pocket she said "why did you get this?". My heart sank.


you obviously had expectations again and wanted "more now", and it backfired. LEARN from this.

To make a long story short, I told her because she is my wife and it makes me feel good,

BINGO


beacuse I listened to me heart and not my head. And you did not listen to HER either. She wants space and you won't stop following her around with your neediness. Back off.

She said that she can't wear it right now, but when she is ready she will.

She let you off easy. Be grateful and don't sulk or pout. Just please, read the books that form the basis of this site's philosophy so you don't make mistakes like this again and again. The DB "program can work IF you do the program.

I know I shouldnt have done it, It goes against all DB'ing practices. It's rough. But I think I'm getting used to being let down and hurt. I doesn't effect me as long as it has been in the past, and that worries me to be honest.

It's not just about you being let down. IT's about you ignoring what your wife has repeatedly asked for and it's about pushing your wife farther away from you.

I mean no offense with this next question, But Have you always been this needy? I wonder if it's the underlying problem you ought to be working on...just a thought.

Good luck.