wife needs time to figure things out, need advice

[25yearsmlc]

Curious about the community's opinion on this. Since BD, W hasn't came out and said ILY on her own. But, she does not hesitate to reciprocate when I say it. Sometimes its less enthusiastic than I would like, but it's still there.

Stop saying it. It's right there in the DB book(S) to NOT keep saying it, so why are you wondering? I mean, it's just Not done in your situation. IT's called pursuit and it's blatantly NOT giving her the space she asks for. "Space" isn't just a physical thing; it's also emotional and you are smothering her imo. Back off. Have you really read the DB books, or either of them? It's not really showing atm.


I say it, when i leave to work, and when we goto bed, and sometimes ill shoot her a text and wish here a good day amd ILY.

Wow, you sure do not get the whole "Detach" mantra. You need to "get it".

Should I slow down on this?

Slow down? No, just stop it completely until if and when she recommits to the marriage and or says it first..

I Just feel if I do not say it, then she may think that I dont care

I very seriously doubt this^^ b/c you are clearly very needy. Just learning a little self control (holding your tongue, Not pursuing her right now) would be nice b/c you really haven't yet showed her that you can...


or that I am reverting to my old self. This has been a 180 for me, to continually express my love for her.

Detachment is hard for me, as you can see lol.

GAL is key to detaching. Detaching will help You not smother her so much, and to Back Off. What are your GAL activities?