To DB or not to DB, is it really a question?

[labug]

Shake, as Cadet says to everyone here, you didn't break her/him you can't fix her/him. She was truly broken before, even before the 1st ex husband. And while there were things in each of yow that drew you together, (she wanted someone to fix her and you liked the idea of fixing her) that's not a healthy R foundation.
So what ever happened was going to happen.

You know very clearly what there is within you that needs work. That's all you can do, that's all any of us can do. Maybe your W will someday get to the point where she can do that. Maybe not.

I hope she does, for her sake and for her children's sake.

You're the lucky one really, you've gotten to a place where you see the need to change and can do that.

For now, grieve your loss, things will get better, the pain lessens.