The Waiting One (and tired of it)

[Atsbaby]

I think I dropped my shovel somewhere...I need to go find it!

So after continuously beating myself up ALL day today (actually took the day off, mostly cause I never finished my mountain of homework), I finally found some peace after my class. I called Clark to see if they wanted dinner. I ate with classmates, which I think is what helped lift me up. Clark was ugly on the phone. I remained positive and up beat...not going down buddy.

I got home, took the dog for a walk, did laundry, cleaned some dishes and started to complete some unfinished homework. That didn't last long...I'm glad class is officially over. Once I get this last assignment in, I get a nice week off!

It was nice to GAL. I miss it. I told Clark goodnight and asked if I could give him a kiss goodnight and the nasty man said no. After about 30 minutes, he finally came in to talk with me. We are making progress. We still had a setback, but I validated his comments and did agree to some of the accusations.

Clark said something about contacting the atty and not wanting to start over, and "I threw in his face" that I was letting my atty know we've been physical up until Monday. This was after I'd left and returned last night.

I really need to keep my mouth shut. Clark placed a boundary of no physical contact. No kissing or anything. I'll give him his space, but I won't let him leave again.i need to be the lighthouse. I will continue to pave this path for him. I have more to work on. I need to keep the stuff I've changed and add to his growing list. Overall though, this is stuff that I knew needed to be changed.

This piecing thing is going to be hard. We're not quite there yet, but yikes!!!