I'm not a good judge on how much is the alcohol because he is a high functioning alcoholic , has a high paying job that he's been at since high school, and hardly ever gets to the point he's sloppy, even when he should
But here for the last couple years the sloppy drunk has appeared more often. The drinking has increased to include morning , and he has at times not known what he said. I've devoted the better part of today reading the "tips from wise veterans " and I need to make some goals, 180's, and gal. I'm so afraid to not see him for 3 days as you suggest, and I'll tell you why.
About 4 years ago I was beyond tired of the drinking and how he spent all his days off with friends and neighbors , playing cards, corn hole, tv, bars etc... He was not interested in family time, going somewhere with me or much of anything I would have liked. So I started spending my time apart from him, stopped talking to him, stopped being affectionate and I thought he would miss me and take notice.
He only from time to time would ask if I wanted to join him , but only in the activities I named above, so I got more resentful, and angry, and would nag at him constantly about how I felt , how everyone else was more important than me, how he wouldn't spend time with me, blah blah ... Well before I knew it 3 years had passed and he didn't miss me at all, in fact He jumped for joy if I ignored him. And that is why he says he has moved on and won't be rejected again. That 3 years was painful for him, and he says he doesn't believe that I love him, or that our m can ever be happy again.
Anyway, staying away from him got me in this situation in the first place. But I have spent almost a year trying to show him that I realize what I did, validate, and try not to blame him for anything. I in this time have walked through a war zone with him, and feel like the enemy.
I forgave all the things he did to me on my own without ever getting one apology from him.
He thinks it's all me and his hands are clean, I am ok with that right now because I want my husband back, not to win. He used to be so good to me.
I try not to focus on the drinking anymore and just accept it, I can't change that part of him and he's not interested. I realized a year ago that I had summed him up as a drunk and didn't even know him anymore. I missed him and desperately wanted us to be happy .
So in a nutshell, he was fine as long as I didn't want anything out of him, but when I started doing Db , and trying to show him that I loved him, and was going to accept the things I didn't agree with is when he started this was mode.
M 2005 ~together 1997 Bd 2006 & 04/02/2014 1 dd 12 H~ 44 Me 48
