Just feeling stuck and sorry for myself that despite how logistically, financially and emotionally difficult this is for all of us (me, d and H), and despite the fact that I have shown him I am capable of change, he still chooses to feel hopeless and refuse to entertain the possibility of rebuilding a life together. Feeling pretty low about that at the moment. This moment will pass, and I will get on with my life and be ok, but right now the rejection and lack of a partner in my life--for nearly a year- stings.
I want to be loved and held and desired and cherished. I want to have someone to order in Chinese food with on a rainy night and get a foot massage.
I don't want to go out searching for love again, this time with the added complication of finding someone who will also cherish my daughter.
Jeez I am in bad shape tonight. Good thing there seems to be lots of hugs going around here. I need a couple.
