New here, my fairytale gone wrong

[MrBond]

"I guess my confusion lies in the idea that maybe I didn't really know him at all, ever, and that he has always been a totally different person than I thought."

You've known him for 23 years. I'm sure you "know" him. But people change. It's how life is. We all evolve. The advantage you have is the fact that you have been with him for that long. What have his behaviors changed to? What does he like? Dislike? Use those facts to your advantage. Don't overly do it, but apply what you know here and there.