too late?

[25yearsmlc]

I kind of knew that as I asked the question. So its good to have it reinforced.

I'm stacking up the reading at the moment so its more a case of when I read it than if.

That's a good suggestion about the weekend retreat. I found that an 1hr means we just seem to be starting to talk abiut something signufucant when its then time to wait a week. I will certainly look into it especially if there is an equivalent this side of the Atlantic.

Unfortunately, Essential Experience is Not presently conducted in the UK. It's now in Philadelphia only, but I sure hope they'll expand again. (I did it in Vermont, H did it in NH and friends of ours did EE in the Sierras.)

Since I've been to several of these types of things, I can tell you that none are as good as EE, but one might be comparable. It's called "LifeSpring".

I have NOT been to it, ironically, but I know some EE grads who said good things about Lifespring.

Since EE is my reference point, and it's fellow EE participants who say Lifespring is worthwhile, AND I trust their judgment, I'm deferring to them. IF I could not do EE, I'd sure give Lifespring a shot. That is of course all about your personal individual growth, NOT solely your marriage issues.

For working only on your marriage, you need a marriage retreat or workshop.

At a GOOD weekend long workshop, you would identify the problem(s) you have to work on, you'd get tools for working on them, and then you'd get a support system for your success and accountability in the future.

To Stay On Track, b/c sometimes getting on track isn't the problem; staying on track is.

Know what I mean?

For marriages in trouble, Retrovaille is probably the best weekend retreat around.

Yes There ARE Retrovaille weekends in the UK and Europe (I looked it up) but am not sure where you live or how often. In the USA, in big cities they host Retrovaille weekends monthly or more.

When we were first piecing, my MIL got terminal cancer and I KNEW we were headed into a storm, although not one of our making. I knew times would get hard and sure enough, within a few weeks, H began to backslide and get curt with me. I almost thought he'd blame ME for his mom's cancer; he got SO sad and angry, etc.

Anyhow, that is when I suggested we go to Retrovaille b/c I said "I can't see us getting thru this without new tools. Besides, my "marriage efforts" reserves are very low" (b/c DBing takes a lot of emotional energy and work, as YOU know,)
I could tell we were not going to make it without professional help.

This was in late July of 2008. H agreed to "doing something to help us". So I looked up Retrovaille in our area & hoped they'd have one "in time" and hoped it would not be too far, or too inconvenient for h's work schedule, ETC. I felt it was an urgent need but I dreaded the long wait...

They listed the 8th of August weekend as the next one. It was IN our area, and oh, btw, that was our wedding anniversary.

Gee, sometimes the universe is very clear...