Eric.... thats the thing, I have changed!! I am very different from when I arrived (although, still under construction & accepting advice)
Yes, babies learn how to eventually walk... the baby steps I am referring to are since BD, MLC & since reconnecting. It is VERY important that I give him the space to allow HIM to come forward without my pressure.
I am not afraid to lose him... I already lost him 2 years ago. I learned this during the many months on here.. when I started to call him my Xbf. I learned that I have NO control of what he does.... so, why concern myself with what he does when he is not with me. I have learned that I was manipulating and trying to control an outcome that was clearly OUT OF MY CONTROL... I gave up!
I do see myself as valuable & am being patient (180 for me) WHILE we are "working on us"... I just don't think that NOW that he is finally offering to GIVE me my business deal that it is the time to demand it. Its not fear, its timing now... I have been standing up for what I believe, and he is making movement towards it... He doesnt understand my reasoning on why I need the paperwork to be done before I take funds from our bank account. His actions show that he is prepared and he has sat down with me and reviewed the statements line by line so that we understand what we are signing, etc.
Now that we are re-connecting, do you really feel I need to plan a life without him? I mean, I am getting this business deal finalized so that I can buy a house.... So that I can be independent... this is facing a fear for me. I am planning a life.. with our without him.
The old MM would have "assumed" we were back together already & jumped full force into pressuring him & demanding that I move home or buy a house with me already. Putting pressure that we behave like a family again. I am looking at this differently now. I want to see his changes & to ensure that I will get all that I need.... because HE wants it too.
Last edited by makingmagic; 10/01/1406:04 PM.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
