Granb8te I think the 'if' sounds very promising. I would be delighted with that.
And I totally get the reaching out thing - I get that all the time. Sometimes I try and distract myself so I don't actually physically touch his face or arm. If I did I'm sure he would recoil in horror.
Me - 44 Husband - 47 D20, S18 BD - Aug 2013 Moved out - Jan 2014 OW discovered Jan 2014