HI Eric & Starsky... I do not take your comment as 2x4, but as an outsiders view. For this, I thank you and will consider what you are saying.
Yes, I know that my needs for business have been delayed for a very long time. Actually "seeing" it on his physical written list is 180 for him. Hearing him bring it up the other day is 180 for him. I will see this thru.
I have approached him on this recently & continue to do so. My only other option is to "attack" thru the legal system to which I will not fair as well as if he "offers" what we have already in place from our meetings with a mediator. Also, I am approaching it gently and in a better way due to our re-connection. I am not prepared to be demanding... I just don't feel that this "fight" will help with our rebuilding. <<< this may come across as fear/scared to get what is rightfully mine. But, what other choice do I really have ATM? Isn't it better to see what he is willing to GIVE on his own accord? I have asked for what I need, he has heard me and "seems" to be prepared to act on it ... soon. Realistically, he does not have to do anything. However, that attitude will land in legal battle.
Yes, I notice that my needs are secondary.
I have been doing my part in OUTLASTING the crisis. In the meantime, I have learned to value myself, etc. Which is why I am stepping back and allowing him to follow forward and to actually get to chasing me. This takes a step from me (stepping back) to allow this to happen... HIS CHOICE!
Isn't it everyones goal on the MLC site to "wait" and outlast? I see his "crumbs" now as baby steps... What makes my sitch any different than the others on this site?
I do see that statement as co-dependent... I am AWARE that I said it and therefore, am careful. The old MM would have JUMPED right in. When I stated that, it was to point out how I NOW recognize some co-dependent behaviour & will keep that in check!! I am not going to accept his baby steps as a final way of life.. more as it is.... baby steps to SEE what comes next, if any at all. Each day offers a new gesture that makes me feel a little more confident in his desires for me/us. ... however, I will not have my head in the sand and think its the BE ALL/END ALL and jump right in... I am being cautious!
Please point out to me how I am settling for crumbs where the others on the MLC forum are being a lighthouse? how can I differ between crumbs & baby steps?..... I will want to watch for this!
Again, thank you for pointing out what you see.. obviously, I am able to easily slip back into old ways if not pointed out to me from time to time.
Today, I am skeptical.... its a safe place to be as it protects me.
Last edited by makingmagic; 10/01/1405:30 PM.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
