"Now just today my sister tells me that my h on our last family trip together told her h that his first wife (not me) was the love of his life."
Believe not of what they say and half of what they do.
"Not only do I need to know why, but the reason has to make sence to me or I question it, or worse try to reason."
He probably doesn't even know the reason so there is no way he can possibly explain it to you.
"think what I'm doing different or for the most part is not asking questions about all the why's or trying to pursue, beg, plead and implore."
You just did this yesterday. In fact, you "lawyered" him into finally verbalizing ILYBINILWY. I fully understand the need to know. And deep down, I am sure you are glad you finally heard him say it so that you can finally start to deal with the real issue.
Start working hard on the 180s. Start working on GAL and getting out. Create that air of mystery. Get away from the house. Take D someplace new. Take her and visit friends or family. Getting away will accomplish multiple things. It will take your mind off the topic, it will allow you to start building up your esteem, It will prevent you from going to the garage and persuing him, and it will maybe make him think you are moving on and will not always be there for him. Last but not least it will allow you to see that there is more to life than your H that is residing in your garage.
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
