I came here because he left our totally monogamous exclusive long term relationship.... He was no longer wanting to be in our relationship. He went into MLC. .... I came here wanting him & my relationship back.

I never said that he wasn't exclusive (monogamous). He was faithful & loyal for 20+ years. & inspite the MLC, he still is.

Throughout the forum, it came up that we were never married. I had said that sure, I would have liked to be married & in fact pushed for it at times. However, realizing that "marriage" didn't have to BE, as long as I had the right "relationship" & the right man.... This was the relationship & He was that man... I compromised my dream of marriage for the reality of a good relationship/person. Maybe I could have had both... but I had been married before & wasn't prepared to let "marriage" be a block over loyalty/faithfulness.

Due to MLC and our separation, he was no longer willing to be in our relationship... He did "think" the grass was greener & that he was missing out on "LIFE" , he felt the need to explore... however, he did not put forth much real effort & stayed "faithful". He didn't "do that" or anything close to it, with anyone else. He just didn't want to... I guess.

What we "had" was good. Yes, I do want that back.... only better. I want "my" new changes/behaviours to be present in a new relationship. I want "his" attention/desires to come back to me. "to water his own grass" & appreciate me. <<< This is what I was wanting and was trying to achieve.

Our re-connecting began because HE suggested that we "see how it goes" in an exclusive setting. I agreed to it.

Yes, you were advising me to hold firm in what I needed in a relationship... which was getting his commitment back into it. Much like everyone else in the MLC group... we "wait" like a lighthouse for them to come back.

Last edited by makingmagic; 10/01/14 01:46 PM.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs
myD:22
H distant summer/12
H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12
BD: Dec 2/12
asked me begin to move end of Jan/13
moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff)
"agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)