Then color me totally confused. I thought you came here saying that you wanted more than what he'd been able to commit to all these years, and asking for advice how to do that. At first I thought that was marriage, and then one day I thought you clarified and said it didn't have to be marriage, but you two would have to be exclusive (monogamous), and that he wasn't willing to offer that, and we will advising you to hold firm in standing for what YOU needed in a relationship.
Now you seem to just be back to wanting what you had, back.
