I have no advice to offer, but I wanted to say that you've got a real opportunity here. I'm rooting for you two to find the answers you need to rebuild into a better R. : )
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".