While your insecurity may have been PART of why you acted the way you did, you're still coming up with excuses and a scorecard. Just admit to the part you did WITHOUT saying "but she" etc.
" The stupid thing is I would (she just would have needed to ask)."
She DID ask. Even in your example.
"W: have you got the kids for 5 minutes while I do my makeup" This is how she asked.
And this is how you responded..."M: yeah fine"
and with a the snarky response of...
"M: well we need to come up with a better plan then because at the moment I'm defrauding my employer. "
You didn't really care about her and still don't. You just care now because you're afraid to be alone.
Is this how you talked to her when you first dated? Not listening to her? Blowing her off? Being snarky?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
