afraid I have waited too long #4

[nit84]

Back for the story of the move out.

She told me a week and a half ago when I talked about the OM laundry that she was going to be out by month's end. While I took this seriously a part of me didn't want it to happen.

Last week she cleaned out a closet laid the stuff in the living room and asked what I wanted. I picked some stuff and said ok get yours she said I already did, so I took some more and the rest will go the Veterans.

Same thing the next night with the kitchen stuff, then two days off with no movement at all. Friday comes and I am out GAL I come home and she is downstairs going thru that stuff.

I let her do it and go to bed. I wake in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I go downstairs and see a bunch of stuff in boxes so the move was going to happen. As she was going through stuff, I forgot I left a book that I read in one drawer. It was a good one about worn out women. I know she saw it because it was moved and flipped over but still in the drawer. A lot of pictures of us together were in some of boxes also.

Went back to bed, in the morning I got up normal time for a Sat. she was up right after me(not normal). I took a shower she was near the bathroom while I was in there. When I went back upstairs she asked if I took a shower. I said yes she said because there is a pipe leaking by the washer, I said ok looked at it and something seemed off but it wasn't bad and looked like it had stopped. I went upstairs told my W no big deal I will take care of it and left. Her bed was stripped down so I knew for she was leaving.

I came back 2hrs later there was a truck in the driveway. I didn't know who was there but I went in the house. It was her brother who I hadn't seen in about 5 years. I said hi he shook my hand in front of W and I went about my business. It was quick stop as I had somewhere to be in about an hour.

As I left, there was some small between me and BIL and W added to it as I was leaving. I was gone for about 7 hrs.

I came home and everything looked normal till I went downstairs she took a lot more than was on her list and for some reason. When I checked the garage the door was left wide open(she never does that) for anyone to come in.

I then realized she took Our cat also that made me sad but I am carrying on.

I locked up everything went back upstairs and then discovered some things she didn't take, Wedding Dress, Antique doll collection from Gram ma, lots of food and her Birth control pills. Didn't know why, didn't care why, just found it strange that these were left behind.

I didn't want to stay so I went out and GAL again. I came back 3 hrs later fully expecting other things to be gone nothing else was touched.

I went to bed got up the next morning and started to go through the rubble. I discovered her cell phone receipt with her and her Mom new # that she got the day of the spousal support hearing back in June. She never gave me the number.

I also found her credit cards on accounts in my name only. this is important for proof, I feel, down the road. She is claiming I was the only one who used the cards so she shouldn't be responsible for any charges made while we were together.

All the while I am thinking how to approach W if she returns while I am here. She didn't come back while I was inside but I passed her on the road outside our plan when I was returning after running some errands.

I checked and the alarm clock and her BC pills was all that was taken this trip.

Based on the volume of things she took and the size of the truck she was using I guesstimate about 7 loads, based on the time taken, she must be pretty close, but again she isn't sharing that with me.

A neighbor saw her come back Sun and commented that she was running in the house and running out the house she was there about 20 secs didn't want to see me I guess. he commented.

went about my day. when I got home I decided to clean the kitchen really well. I took all dry foodstuffs and boxed them up and set them by the front door so when(if) W comes back it will be quick for her to get and go.

Kitchen looks good but bare. I will do the same one room at a time. I will set all things I don't want by the door for ease of pickup.

I am now able to make it MY house in most respect except sole ownership. I have wanted to clean the house head to toe for many years now is my chance. When I am bothered I am one hell of a cleaner so it will keep me busy.

She left so me boxing up her left behind things should be no big deal Right?

That night I slept very soundly best in months but when I got up the reality hit me again and it stinks. I have no desire to contact her and I will continue my GAL and 180(cleaning and fixing the house up). at some point, I guess she will come back to get those things. If I am here I am if not I'm not.

I will ask her why she felt the need to take the cat and other things that were in dispute at the moment. I will do it with quiet power not aggression. I need to see what that will look like to me.

Is practicing some things that I want to say helpful or should I just let it flow out if the opportunity presents itself?

Thanks again for all the help. Now that she is moved out it will help me detach more I'm sure but that doesn't mean I have to quit loving my W.

Now that the circumstances have changed do I alter anything as far as DB goes? I will reread Sandi rules again there are things in there that I tried when I was not living in the Marital home. I will go back to those and hope I do a better job this time around.

Thanks in advance for any help or thoughts