moving on from the affair forum to here

[25yearsmlc]

I don't even know how to describe the pain, and it won't go away. No matter what I do not one single hour goes by that ex-OW isn't in my head. He did this for her, he did that for her........... blah, blah, blah...

I PROMISE you, this^^ improves. IT does get better. There are some things you can do to speed it up, which I'll share in a minute. But just know that you will NOT always feel this badly. I am positive.

I can't look at him without seeing her and thinking about how loving, caring and passionate he was with her. It makes me physically ill.

wait..."how caring & passionate he was with her"...what? Oh, Because of how HONEST he was with HER? Um, not so much...he's lied TO you ,ABOUT you, AND TO her and ABOUT her, AND TO his first wife ABOUT you and blah blah blah.

I think if you had endless energy (which you do not)

and nothing better to do (which you DO),

I'd say you should go out and hunt for the 1-2 women to whom he has NOT lied, IF they exist...

Even though he is living with me he isn't putting forth the effort into our marriage that he gave their relationship.


that's a funny statement when you think about it. Okay not "funny" hilarious but damn ironic. So, He is putting forth "so much effort" into the R he has with her WHILE living with you??
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((Oh Lord give me strength! Man, This guy better look like Brad Pitt and have the money of Warren Buffet to have this many women messed up by him.)) Sheesh!

It hurts so badly to end this marriage as I feel like I am starting from square one but I know that's what I have to do. He doesn't love me and deep down I know I deserve someone who does.

So here I am, court date on October 14th and scared, nervous and even though this is my decision completely 100% devastated.

We are here for you, rooting you onward. Get past this HUMP and you WILL feel more at peace. TELL yourself your mantras and live them. Turn this over to God (or your higher power or whatever God exists for you).

I KNOW Better times are coming!