too late?

[25yearsmlc]

" I do however really feel I had to put a lot if effort into playing with the kids because she flat out ignored them while she browsed eBay or FB (this was a really regular occurrence)."

That's YOUR perception. She might have thought that since you were there, you it was your chance to play with them. Stop the mindreading.

"Whenever there was a choice between playing with the kids or doing a chore she would always insist on doing the chore."

Women think differently than men. She might have taken it as an opportunity to get something done while the kids are occupied. That's how most women see it.

Bond hit that nail right on the head.

Most women, (myself included), would have read that^^ as

"H NEVER does chores. He'd rather play video games or throw a ball than clean a toilet (but hey, who wouldn't?) Besides, he has the maid to do the gross chores...

(& that would be ME)..."


"my W likes to be put on a pedestal."

Pretty condescending comment. That's YOUR perception and an extremely vague statement. She probably wanted your attention and you IGNORED her. That's not being put on a pedestal. That's called just basic respect and relationship 101.

In fact, just 6 days ago, you wrote... "For the last couple of years I have neglected my wife."

I also found the pedestal comment confusing/conflicting. You neglected your wife for LONG periods. You were "horrible" to her, or "awful" when it really counted--her dad's death---you "let inadequacies" of yours "cause" you to inflict deep wounds on her.

Hey, this is a real problem with much of what you write.

Big chunks of it contradict other Big chunks.

I realize that times change things, and what was once true - might not be true now, or was not true 3 years ago, etc.

But it sure makes it harder to help you. So If you can, distinguish between

saying what WAS, versus what IS NOW and what you FEAR MIGHT BE coming...

Okay?