You have been doing great! As you said you have been really looking into yourself and seeing how you can improve. That takes a lot of courage.
And yes, maybe it is true that your H will not come back and want to work on things. That is a possibility. But it is also possible that he will. And tomorrow or on a better day you will see that hopeful chance and feel positive and happy. Today is just a hard day.
I completely hear you on the Banana Republic job. It may seem a bit demeaning to take a step backward but hey, it's a job! And indeed think of all the cute things you will get to wear for a big discount. I wouldn't mind having that discount! And it also doesn't have to be forever, but at least you will have benefits and money coming in while you continue your search for another job. You never know, perhaps a customer will come in, you'll have a charming chat and she'll offer you a more enticing position at her company. Banana Republic is a great place to buy work clothes after all!
I realize it probably does not help to hear this but we can all relate to how you are feeling. The past few days I have been down, despite good things in my life and my GAL activities. Tears suddenly began rolling down my cheeks while walking down the street, although I haven't been crying at all for several weeks. I think this is just part of the healing process, somewhat like dreaming is a way for your brain to process the activities of the previous day. We have to go through these emotional times to process what has happened to us. Tomorrow or the next day we will feel better again. I feel better today for no apparent reason, I felt like the sun shone on me again. But I realize I'll probably feel down again for no reason and I won't be able to see that it too will pass. But it will. So our own rollercoaster continues.
Don't worry Ss, things will pick up again soon. Just keep moving forward with strength and grace.
