I know your right, Starsky. It's just been a particularly rough day and I'm acting quippy and self absorbed. Sorry.
The wife has, again today like yesterday, reached out to contact me in several ways. Even called twice, which is unusual because I was watching the phone records when she first left and trust me, my wife will text up a storm but calls no one. So I guess me pulling back has affected her a little.
She came by today to "see the kids" but she barley said hi to them, went to the closet grabbed some more of her clothes, asked me if I was working my steps, and was gone in less than 30 minutes. Irritating. I tried to maintain the rules but not sure how well I did.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
No, I know. I quit watching the phone records the day I found the rules.
I just got off the phone with the wife and I'm afraid I blew it. I'll communicate more later when I get home.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Well, where to start. I no that I should not have any expectations, and yet here I am. My wife calls today, 15 minutes after she was supposed to pick the girls up from school, and asks me where I'm at and if there is any possible way I could go get the girls. I'm thinking she's at work but she tells me she left work early to go to a job interview that 46 miles away from the school and she's just now leaving. I lost my cool. I didn't yell or scream or anything like that but she did say, "Here you go griping and complaining about every little thing I do. I cant do anything right with you. I'm just trying to get a better job so we can pay our debts." blah, blah, blah. I hate this not being able to call BS when I see it. So I made her go get them anyway. An hour late and she had to pay a fee. My second screw up, I called her back and apologized for being rude and complaining. SMH*
Of course this is Pool League night number 2 for the week and she rushes the kids home dumps them off at her mom's place where she is staying, Showers, and leaves.
Grrr. I just have no clue what I'm doing here at all.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
You made her take responsibility. That's a great way to call her on her B.S. Next time don't apologize for it.
Stay focused on the kids. :-)
Thanks FD, I'm trying. No apologies next time. I've heard Starsky say it several times in the last week. I cannot be frozen by fear of her leaving or she'll smell it a mile away.
"Lord, What do you want me learn today? What do you want me to learn through this? How do I glorify you today Lord? What do you want me to do, who can I help? Amen."
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
You're right. I was about to say that I didn't mean to punish her but I guess I did. I know I can't change her it just hurts me to sit and watch her do all of these things and self destruct all while she's got all 10 fingers pointing at me. Seems to be a common theme around here with WAS's.
I've been trying to detach just not doing a very good job of it. Thanks, bdub.
Last edited by Jefe; 10/01/1401:47 PM.
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
Just had another conversation with the wife. She is looking for some extra money to pay off a debt she need to take care of so she can get a job that she thinks she wants. I responded, "So let me get this straight, you want me to sell something or borrow money to give to you for a job?" and she says yes. So we can have the extra money we need to pay of our debts and catch up on our bills and just have some regular income coming in. I ask her after the bills and debts are caught up, then what? She says she cant tell the future. I said I'm not asking you to tell the future I'm asking you to let me know if you have plans after that. She says no, no plans. I answer, then I don't think its a good idea to get further into debt given our current situation.
The waffling back and forth is mind bending. Believe none of what you hear and 50% of what you see, right?
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
