Sandi can I just say thankyou as you really give great advice and have a good perspective on things. Shame my W can't talk to you.
I know what you mean about the apology. She knows I'm sorry and she either can't or won't forgive me. I am starting TI think that my 'all about me' syndrome has made it all about me when actually thinking about my W she has always been her harshest critic with the most enormous guilt streak.
Anyways I type the letter to apologise then decided I should be more positive so retyped to described all the ways I have supported her. Then got angry and re did it to cover all the ways she has let me down. The retyped it a last time because I realised none of that actually matters and so now I have a much shorter letter that describes how I feel about her and the future. All in all a quite cathartic process for me.
The chores are a mix of things. There is a part that is because its something visible my W can see but more its that I'm trying to build good habits for being a single parent.
Cooking has always relaxed me but I let it slide because of kids and work and my W only wanting to eat salads.
I suppose the example is that she said playing with the kids is depressing and that's not something I feel comfortable validating. She then went on to say that its sad for them and all I wanted to say was 'well youre choosing this' I think I just kind of made a murmur of agreement.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
