I am on the tracks and the train is comming...

[Zoo]

Well ok.. I am going to stop the date. Cancel.. I thought it was what I needed but I am second guesing myself to death after my butt chewing.. SO I will spend another saturday night alone.. Well maybe I wil spend it with my wife and kids if I am lucky..

Ok Kevin, so what will spending the SAT with your W accomplish?? It's that quick fix again...scrambling for crumbs because sticking to your guns is just TOO HARD. Better the little bit of time she DEIGNS to bestow on you then nothing at all...it doesn't matter that for the week afterward you will be angry, miserable, bemoaning her craziness and your inability to detatch and wondering WHY nothing seems to be going anywhere.

Look, it is understandable that you are afraid, we all our in our perspective sitch's...and that biggest fear for you it seems is that if you distance your self completely from W that she will continue to go on her merry way. That is a POSSIBILITY but has not yet been determined to be a PROBABILITY. You can't definitively say she will completely shut you out of her life by putting some distance between you until you set that fear aside and TRY it. Until then you are only ASSUMING that will be what happens. You KNOW what they say about ASSuming...

If you want to spend time with your family that is fine. Get the kids and take them off to do something...leave the W out of it though, COMPLETELY!! How do you do that?? Simple, tell her she is not invited. Tell her this is time for you to bond with your kids and you want it to just be them and you. Tell her whateve you have to but DON'T INVITE her and don't spend time with her afterwards and DON"T spend the night.

It is a pattern that you are in right now...a RUT if you will and until you break free of it the amount of help/advice you are going to get from the BB is going to be very limited. How can we guide you forward when you are clinging to the damn rope that is dragging you back??

You are the one making the choices that have you stuck where you are right now...YOU! It isn't your W or your family, job or anyone else. You have the choice to actually dig in and get serious with DB. The WHEN, WHY and HOW are completely up to you...cuase if you are waiting for an epiphany, miracle or lightning strike, well, you are going to be waiting one HE!! of a long time.

Hugz,
Zoo