Your h is playing the "dance". You distance and he becomes nice and reaches out to you. Once you do so, he will then begin distancing from you. The best way to break this cycle is to remain neutral and continue as you have been while distancing.
Detaching is hard and it can be more so w/the mlcer living at home because they are around in some fashion 24/7, but if you can look at him as a roommate you can detach a bit more.
The only changes you can make are to you and what you are doing w/your life. You can't change him, he has to do that himself.
Continue detaching and stay the course.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
