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Re: To DB or not to DB, is it really a question? Shakspr #2492488 09/30/14 08:59 AM
Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 12,602 M MrBond Member
MrBond Member M Joined: Jun 2008 Posts: 12,602	What exactly have you found out? You know that it's not something you could have prevented right? M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5 Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life. RECONCILED AND WISER

Re: To DB or not to DB, is it really a question? Shakspr #2492489 09/30/14 09:00 AM
Joined: Aug 2014 Posts: 412 Texas, USA S Shakspr OP Member
OP Shakspr Member S Joined: Aug 2014 Posts: 412 Texas, USA	It's 3:53 AM here. Just laid out my clothes for tomorrow. I stink of nervous sweat. My mind is clear, but I know not what I will do next. Will def pray. Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20

Re: To DB or not to DB, is it really a question? Shakspr #2492493 09/30/14 09:13 AM
Joined: Aug 2014 Posts: 412 Texas, USA S Shakspr OP Member
OP Shakspr Member S Joined: Aug 2014 Posts: 412 Texas, USA	MrBond, I agree with you 100%. Except, you know, for building a better marriage in the first place. She snuck off with him 7/19 somewhere. Constant texting and pics (nothing racy.) One of the texts is directly linked to "activity." I can control some things from here forward, even if it means getting ridiculous (which I don't intend to do.) I don't have to sign the existing divorce decree, that's for sure. I won't be walked on. She needs to come clean. I will see where it leads from there. Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20

Re: To DB or not to DB, is it really a question? Shakspr #2492494 09/30/14 09:23 AM
Joined: Aug 2014 Posts: 412 Texas, USA S Shakspr OP Member
OP Shakspr Member S Joined: Aug 2014 Posts: 412 Texas, USA	I wish W had sent me a sexy selfie. My W is cute. Oh, well, I'm in frenetic mode. Sorry for the frequent posts. Talking myself off the ledge, so to speak. Connecting the dots was interesting. Couldn't have done it if she hadn't told on herself about this guy in April or so. "Someone I used to know...trying to make more friends in the area..." Pulling deleted data off an iPhone is tricky, but not too hard. I need to catch a few winks. Gotta get busy tomorrow. Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20

Re: To DB or not to DB, is it really a question? Shakspr #2492496 09/30/14 09:29 AM
Joined: Sep 2014 Posts: 1,720 J jim0987 Member
jim0987 Member J Joined: Sep 2014 Posts: 1,720	Hope you can get some sleep. You'll hopefully feel better for it. Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress

Re: To DB or not to DB, is it really a question? jim0987 #2492502 09/30/14 10:13 AM
Joined: Aug 2014 Posts: 412 Texas, USA S Shakspr OP Member
OP Shakspr Member S Joined: Aug 2014 Posts: 412 Texas, USA	No sleep 'till BROOKLYN! Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20

Re: To DB or not to DB, is it really a question? Shakspr #2492504 09/30/14 10:57 AM
Joined: Jul 2014 Posts: 1,008 G gan Member
gan Member G Joined: Jul 2014 Posts: 1,008	Deep breaths, Shakspr, deep breaths� H 37 Me 36 Together 15 years Married 5 years No kids BD Apr 2014 H moved out 2 Jun 2014

Re: To DB or not to DB, is it really a question? gan #2492506 09/30/14 11:29 AM
Joined: Aug 2014 Posts: 412 Texas, USA S Shakspr OP Member
OP Shakspr Member S Joined: Aug 2014 Posts: 412 Texas, USA	Still OK. At men's prayer now. Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20

Re: To DB or not to DB, is it really a question? Shakspr #2492537 09/30/14 01:22 PM
Joined: Jul 2014 Posts: 316 W wmwb123 Member
wmwb123 Member W Joined: Jul 2014 Posts: 316	Praying for you, Shakspr. M 16 T 17 W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14 ILYBNIL 5/14 A discovered 6/14 D papers served via USPS 8/14 Filed my response 9/14 D final 5/15...

Re: To DB or not to DB, is it really a question? Shakspr #2492543 09/30/14 01:31 PM
Joined: Nov 2011 Posts: 9,676 Sonoran Desert L labug Member
labug Member L Joined: Nov 2011 Posts: 9,676 Sonoran Desert	Originally Posted By: Shakspr I'm fine. Now the suddenness of her BD and relative failure of DB (even when I was doing it better a month ago) makes sense...in the short term, anyway. Deciding my next move. Intend to confront, let her know if she comes clean we can keep things moving (or try to reconnect!, which is what I really want) civilly, but there's about to be a new sheriff in town. My kids are NOT going to be raised by another man. F that. I'm certainly detached now. I kid you not, a gym owner. Classic. Reacting out of anger isn't detachment, it's even deeper and more harmful emotional investment. Who is the man you want to be through this and does discovering an EA/PA change that? Last edited by labug; 09/30/14 01:32 PM. Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13 Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss

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