Sometimes there are back stories to it that have nothing to do with the person you're struggling with. Understanding your underlying motivations can help with letting go of that need to be right.
I absolutely recognized that there was a back story which is precisely why I asked for a time out.
I KNEW that I was coloring my opinion about what he told D with what I wanted him to actually think and feel so I wanted him to tell her that separation and divorce are horrible and to have hope because mom and dad will be back together soon. Sounds silly when I type it all out but that's what I wanted.
When he was logical and realistic, it shattered my fantasy and I want to tell D my fantasy because that's sure to happen, right?
I think that's why it was hard. I needed to step back and think about this NOT being about our relationship but about what D can handle hearing right before bedtime.
I'm grateful he handled it the way he did and I'm grateful I handled it the way I did.
That seriously could have been hugely ugly and so full of resentment and disdain and "you nevers" and "I always".
I'm doing it. It's slow and it's HARD but I'm doing it.
