So, I figured out that it's easier to deal with stuff if I don't have reminders of the past. Photos, stuff like that...bring back memories that kill me.
As much as I'm dreading the move, I'm sort of looking forward to it. I'll be able to breathe easier without worrying about what H is seeing from me and being on my toes at all times to make sure my 180s are tight and solid. Not that I plan to stop doing 180s, but when I'M the only one I have to worry about, there's less pressure to be on point.
Right now I'm trying to go semi-dark. No texts, only interacting for the 5 minutes or so we're home at the same time, usually when he rolls in the door at 10pm and before he goes to bed on the couch. Mostly it's just polite interaction.
At some point I suspect we'll have to talk about loose end details, but he can come to me. When I'm officially out, I'm going dark totally; no contact, period, unless he contacts me.
Going to try to force myself to start packing this week so that the move this weekend will go smoother.
Deep breaths, and continue to remind myself what a good, healthy relationship consists of -- and until (if ever) Mr. WAH is willing to put effort toward that sort of a thing, then I need to look ahead for myself.
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
