WAW still at home, 3 weeks after asking for D

[bdub]

I think I hate to give up the intel because I feel the need to know what is going on. I think deep down I want to use the intel to control the situation . (oops!!)

I know my M is over, I dont want it anymore, she doesnt want it anymore. I struggle mightily because she is still home, in a separate bedroom. Being in limbo like that is horrible.

She has rented a house in town from a mutual friend. However, that friend still has her mom and brother living in the house, rent free. 4 weekends in a row now my W has gone to start cleaning and get the keys only to find that the mom and brother are still there.

We both are going to IC and we have went to MC (divorce C) several times. Same C. He is wonderful. However, due to colon cancer he is shutting down his practice in the very near futre.

I mention DC instead of MC because each time we have gone W refuses to talk about anything other than D and it frustrated us all to the point that we stopped going. I go weekly to IC and she has gone twice, maybe 3 times.

I am working on several 180s right now and doing well most of the time. I hit a dark spot this week and slid back into a little funk. I know that I want to be a better person after all this. I also still hope that W is the one that gets to benefit from the changes I have made. If not, I know I will eventually be happy on my own, and that I will learn to love myself again.

Something inside me changed this week and I became dissapointed in the way she was neglecting the boys. She had never been that way before. In my typical controlling fashion I mentioned to her that the boys had been complaining to me that she has not been around as much and that there have been several things they wanted to do with her and she was not available.
I should step completely out of my W's relationship with the boys.