I Have apologised many times but then because I was so blind sided by this and I only think I understand why she has decided to leave, I do think properly setting it out might be the right way to begin to atone.
Having said that she has said that I took what little of her self esteem she had left and then wasn't there for her. She has also said that she has been trying to forhivr me for 2 years and that now she is just a shell of her former self who could never forgive me for what I've done to her.
Just an update to the side I now know that her friend (who is having a PA and leaving her husband) is actively encouraging her to hook up with other men. Yay \o/
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress