Are you tying "refusing to change jobs" to "feelings for OW"? What happened to you backing off to take care of yourself?
I can see your separation dates in your signature, but I can't remember when your H split from OW? But your whole separation has been only four months, and even in that four months the two of you have been back and forth, warmer/cooler. And I can't remember how long that relationship lasted, either. but if it was longer than a few weeks he's going to have lingering feelings for her. It's unpleasant but it's true. What matters really is what he does with those lingering feelings. For better or worse, she's a part of his story too, and he's not going to process it the way we all wish he would. He's going to process it in the way that feels true for him. The question for you is, can you stand it?
You've boomeranged to "I need to be ready to file" as many times as I have. What prompted this one?
You DON'T have to be ready to be done. You can just live your life and see how it unfolds. Continue stepping back to take care of yourself. Let him do his thing. Be curious. Watch without expectations.
You seem to have the same difficulty with being still in the moment that I have. Continue stepping back and taking care of yourself. It really helps.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
