1 step forward, 1000 steps back - part 7

[mdu]

So I just found out today that H still has feelings for OW. I guess I had hoped that her moving closer had the opposite effect, that it would have killed the fantasy. But apparently not. He refuses to change jobs.

What now?

I know that's realistically a rhetorical question because I need to answer for myself what my 'bottom line' is. I think this is it for me. I don't see how I can ever feel comfortable with him working with her. It would be one thing if it had blown up his feelings but since that's not the case, I think I'm done. I'm still hesitating to file, though. Because I know H won't back down. I have to be really, really prepared for this being it. While we have made some progress reconnecting (again), things have definitely changed since OW moved to his office. He does not see it as an issue. I guess he's entitled to his opinion.

I am sick to my stomach.

Any observations, words of wisdom and/or encouragement much appreciated. I just don't think H is truly willing to do the work to fix things (despite him telling me many, many times he is, whenever it comes down to brass tacks he just won't. Honestly, this is how H is. I've always had this nagging sense that he's not as committed to our M as he ought to be).

I think I could use some prayers. Thanks.