Need help. Scared, confused, and hurting.

[Jefe]

I have a couple of questions for you. First, how are you doing with not initiating contact with your W? With your 2 daughters, you must feel like you want to let her know about what's happening with the kids. Do you let her make the first call or text?

I haven't had any problem at all not contacting her. for the last several weeks. I just found the "rules" last Wed and that has helped bolster the no contact status. The girls miss her terribly and don't understand why she "left us", neither do I for that matter. I'm happy to give her her space in this arena. I mean, I feel horrible for the girls but this is my wife's choice, not ours.

Now today has been unusual. She has reached out several times today by text trying to engage me in conversation and I have just given very short, not rude, but simple replies. She has also made several Facebook posts that seem like fishing attempts to get me to engage, which I haven't. One of which almost seemed like a direct dare to get me to drive by and check on her. I didn't. Part of me sure wanted to, though.

Also, I see Jefe that you have dealt with with alcoholism in the past. How are you doing with this?

4.25 years sober. I haven't worked my steps and I think this is a huge issue for me so I currently have a sponsor (I did this since the separation) and we're working through them.
My wife is in alanon and has been participating about the same length of time. Interesting to note; she obtained a new sponsor about 18 months ago. Last year the sponsor had her working on the steps and while she was doing her inventory she wrote me a note saying she realized we got married for the wrong reasons and wanted a divorce. This lasted only a few weeks, she never moved out and it just seemed out of left field. Well, this time around we were getting close to reconciling when BAM! I have been working on my steps and I think I might want a divorce. Now I thought this sponsor has been working against us/me, but since the separation, the sponsor has started attending our church, joined our Sunday school class and now shows up at church more than my wife does. When I see her she tells me how much she loves me and seems supportive of me. I think my wife has been distancing herself from her sponsor in addition to the friends she stopped talking to that were trying to be supportive of the marriage.

Prayer circle = Insanely Awesome Idea
We should modify Starsky's prayer that he posted to include each other and just use that as a basis, IMHO.

Thanks, Wet!