^ I am more calmed down about this now and sent an email first asking what was going on with it - did he change it and it's just slow to activate, or did he not change it? From there I'll respond based on the answer. If he says he didn't change it yet but will soon (keep in mind he's had almost 4 months to do this), here's my revised answer using a "formula" from one of my codependency books: how does this make you feel, what do you want the person to do/not do, what will the consequences be- "I feel frustrated and disrespected that you haven't changed this yet - I took our agreement seriously. I'm stressed that I have to keep checking the account to make sure money isn't missing. Please change this before the next payment is deducted, and forward me the confirmation so I know it's set. If you don't change it, I'm going to cancel my direct deposit into that account and take out my half of the funds, so that I no longer have to worry about my part of the money."
I realized I can't take my name off the account w/out closing it, but I at least can take out my money so that if his bills continue to come out of it, that's his issue. I don't want to have to check it monthly and wonder if he's going to put the money back in indefinitely, it's just too stressful. Is that fair boundary setting? I am struggling with where to fall in-between these concepts: A) let go, don't be so controlling,take it easy, don't worry about his actions and B) my feelings are mine and if I am uncomfortable I have a right to take action and make sure my needs are taken care of. I hope I'm making sense... like others have mentioned on here, I have a hard time telling if my actions/reactions are reasonable or if I'm blowing this out of proportion.
Me:30 H:29, no kids T:12, M:4 (when D was final) 12/13: "Don't think I want to be M anymore" 6/14: Separated (I move) 1/15: H filed for D 5/15: D final
