I can be the lighthouse but not the tugboat

[daring]

Yeah Shining- I do love to dance! But preferably not in this situation....
The underwear hotness caught me off guard which made it so much more effective d@mnit!
As far as the finances- he really did do it and I have paid it towards our back taxes already. Then one of our accounts went low today due to an unexpected payment and he put in money from his own account to cover it. I was shocked- told him I would give it right back. ( especially since he has no job right now). He said it's ok, he just got paid for extensive conference speaking engagements and is able to cover rent and his expenses right now. I said ok and let him do it- he seems to need to feel like he's contributing. ( or he found this site and read my money rant!)
2b I read what happened with you- I'm so sorry that is such an awful feeling. I know I have to be careful, but on the other hand my H's love language is majorly physical touch and definitely sex is the highest on that list. The first several years of MLC it was clearly about sex- he behaved completely differently. But the last few months I've noticed there is serious emotional connection. There is also eye contact and they don't look " empty".
This was also an area of issue for us and part of my 180 has been to be more receptive. That said I also reserve the option to say no or stop at any time- and I have done that sometimes. I figure I'm experimenting and monitoring response....

In general it was a pretty decent weekend. I tried to keep my expectations at zero and let him be on Sat. He took our daughter to her counseling appt in AM and then went and did his own thing for most of day.
Texted me in afternoon to see if I wanted to do something fun with the kids- I said sure and we went to play place and then the mall. Was low key but fun.
This AM H texted me and asked if it was ok if he came to my house to work for the day ( he's building a new company). That's a new one compared to last several weeks when he was mostly doing is own thing- I said sure.
Today I felt really crummy- I'm getting over a virus and now it feels like it might be going into bronchitis or pneumonia. I walked over to where he was working to let him know I was going to run to grocery store and he said you sound terrible- why don't you go rest. I said no it's ok I can go. He insisted and said send me a list.

He grocery shopped, changed out all batteries on smoke alarms since we think that might be what keeps setting off the alarm, changed out all air filters and went and picked up take out for dinner for us all. Wow!
And in he midst of all that we had a conversation with S19 about college stuff ( H and I disagree on the approach to this) and while it was tense we got through it and I stood my ground.
Later he texted me saying he was sorry for being negative about it all, told me I didn't say or do anything wrong and didn't deserve him to react that way. I said thank you but also said I understand and validated his feelings.
So I'm looking at the positives. Last week he seemed to have no insight- this week there's lots of insight and he was incredibly helpful. It was nice.