I think she feels we can split and remain good friends.....I don't see that as an option.
I'm not sure I understand here. It most certainly is an option. You two could certainly decide to remain good friends. That makes it an option.
This may be one of your problems.. She says the sky is blue and you revert to, "no I don't see it that way, the sky isn't always blue, don't you know there are days when it is gray???".....
She says... "if we split, an option is that I think we can remain friends".. you say, "no, if we split I don't see that as an option...
she wants to separate, you don't.. she feels you want all or nothing... you say, I guess I do....
Do you see how you are making this all about what YOU want and think and feel? To a WS, this only comes across as you being selfish and wanting what you want and who cares what she wants..
I believe you would be wise to choose your battles wisely. If she says if you split and she wants to remain good friends, then why not just agree with her to work toward that? Why argue with her over something like this? Just tell her that you hope to always remain good friends. You don't have to tell her you want more and that your goal is to have her as your loving wife.
By backing off from certain issues you relieve some of the pressure she feels. As long as a WS feels pressure, they will fight and defend anything and everything. You need to take off the pressure.. So, start there.. Stop immediately taking the opposite position on everything she says.... Pick your battles wisely.
