Ss -I just love you to pieces!!! Thank you for that awesome bit of wisdom! And for the support in hating my H along with me! And for calling me a gem. Woo hoo!
You ask the exact questions I am asking myself. And you answer my questions the way I would as well. Why am I standing? What do I want? Do I even want him?
And yes the truth is, I am doing it all for myself. He's become a new and worse person who I want nothing to do with. If he remains that person then good riddance. But if the H I knew came back, maybe I would be open to it.
I also wonder what his friends and family tell him. I think many of them are encouraging him to find himself and sow his oats. Before BD he also made a group of new and immature friends so they aren't helping the situation. They love partying and being promiscuous. But most of our common friends and his family adore me, whether or not they think he should stay with me is unknown. (my friends hate him and think he is a loser) Oddly a few of his/our male friends have been contacting me lately wanting to socialize, a bit unexpected. I wonder if they are trying to get the gossip from my side or if it is just that they miss seeing me or if it is just random.
I just read something from Maybell on Ganb8te's thread: "My DB coach said that our expectations often determines outcomes, so give yourself your best chance and expect positive things."
And it blew my mind a little bit.
My negative thinking is not going to help me get a positive result. It may help me drop the rope and smack him upside the head with it, but if I'm not sure that is what I want then maybe I should be a little more positive.
Thanks to you Ss for the terrific advice and to Maybell too!
