I don't think I treat the OMW as an enemy, but it seems my W does (naturally). It's so difficult because if I defend the OMW, my W sees it as me showing allegiance to some other woman. My W wants me to put her first. She wants me to show her that I am loyal to her, even during these times. I'm so conflicted when it comes to this.
My kids are very well shielded from this situation. I am spending more time with them now than I have before and I am become a much better father. I never say anything disparaging about my W to them, and I have done more than my share of "covering up" for my W's late night trysts and weekend getaways with the OM. I realize that I should have set that boundary early on and not allow her to simply use me as "free babysitting" while she goes out. I think she would have been put in a much more difficult situation if she was forced to ask her parents to watch the kids while she goes off with the OM.
Thankfully, I believe that this is over (not the A, but the late night trysts, 2 or 3 times per week), since now the OM lives 2000 miles away and at best (according to both my W and the OMW), he will be coming back every two weeks.
My W has no plans to move down there, so I have no idea where their R will end up.
M: 15 years BD: 6/25/14 EA/PA: starts 5/14/14 11/30/14 - A ends 5/15/15 - D is finalized. 11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!
