In His Needs, Her Needs, Dr. Harley addresses this crazy situation:
Quote:
Quote: Early in my career as a counselor I often felt dismayed to see people with strong religious and moral commitments becoming involved in extramarital affairs. I am a church member myself, with strong convictions about the Christian faith. How could people who claim to have the same commitments go astray? Did their faith lack power?
The more I dealt with Christian clients and other people with deep moral convictions, the more I understood the power of our basic emotional needs...
I also have a hard time understanding how my devout wife could have succumbed to the temptation to have an affair. Still further perplexing is how she can stay with her affair partner and file for divorce.
If I ever figure it out, I will be sure to post it. I grew up in the church. My life was family and church! Yet, I had an EA. I almost threw everything away over unmet emotional needs and a fantasy.
Christians are human beings and as long as we have the old human nature, we will have weaknesses. We all have sinned. Your sin may not be mine, and my sin may not be yours, but we all have the ability.
Being a Christian means there is hope. Don't underestimate a WAW.......but neither underestimate the power of prayer. I truly believed prayer had a big part in me finding my way back. Plus, it was no "accident" that I stumbled upon a forum one night called Divorce Busting! How many WAW's come here and end up being the one who gets the tools to turn the M around? Yet, it happened! Want to know something funny? I first went to a "Christian" chat board and they were nuts! I told them off and left. Next stop.....was this place. Been here ever since. Not b/c my M wasn't saved.......but b/c it was!
Don't give up.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
