I'll go over your post more carefully, and I will read your whole thread before I delve deeply with advice.
But know this.
Not all marriages CAN be saved and certainly, some should not.
There is also such a thing as cutting one's losses, learning from it, & moving on.
I'd say if you come to the point at which you can honestly say you have bravely, AND honestly dug deep to face parts of you that you'd rather not face, but you did anyhow,
AND then courageously and thoroughly worked on issues deep within you,
to become truly the best LNMW you can become, then there is only one thing left to do.
At that point you turn your marriage, your pain & your anger over to God.
(Or your "higher power" or "universe," or whatever entity that comforts you)
you hold your head up, and go in peace.
I'm simply not ready to say you are there yet.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
