WAH - Chapter 4 Lisa B

[gan]

Lisa, I've been wondering how you've been doing. I figured you were either too busy GAL or you've been mulling over things.

Aside from my H being a bit of an avoider, I too think that we didn't have that many problems. We did a lot of the things we were supposed to be doing (talking with each other about the day, not arguing over the small stuff, spending quality time together….) I think we just fell into a rut and got stuck on some stuff. Have you read any of the books mentioned on other threads. It has taken me reading them to see that there were some problematic dynamics that I just simply didn't appreciate. But I maintain that our M was pretty good (at least for me, clearly H felt differently).

Here's the way Iook at it: What would be different if you weren't trying to DB? Actually I don't think things would be that different for me. I wouldn't be jumping into another relationship right now (I'm just not ready), I would be trying to get myself in order, GAL etc.

People keep asking me "am I moving on" yet but I've come to think that is a concept Hollywood made up. It's just not that black and white. Am I getting on with my life? Sure. Will I close the door on H? Maybe. Will one of us file for divorce when we are eligible (June 2, 2016)? WTFK. This whole experience is teaching me that nothing is certain. It never was though…why on earth I was under that illusion I just don't know.

I think the most difficult thing is acknowledging that we are in this situation. Sure we wish we weren't here. But we are...so…the.only.way.out.is.through. All will be revealed in due course...