Sandi I can't tell you how grateful I am that people like yourself have hung around to help people like me.
You're right I do not recognise what she has turned into in the last few weeks although feeling trapped has always had a very negative affect on her.
I suppose my biggest fear (and I know that I shouldn't let fears control me) is that in the mindset she is in she is looking for someone else even if just for fling. Going out and getting drunk seems to be what she wants and the friend she is leaning on I know (I do know this) is encouraging it. The fact I couldn't deal with this idea is what triggered the whole mess and she knows how much it would hurt me.
In working out my action plan (180s etc.) I do need to try and figure out the path by which she forgives me for some big things and what she sees as 3 yrs of being let down time and again.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress
