New here, my fairytale gone wrong

[fthnluv]

Got up and went to church today. I will admit that the fact that it was my turn to teach the 3 year olds this week was much of the reason I forced myself to go and not hide in the "hole" of my home in my pajamas all day.

I'm really glad I went. I love the people at my church. I had recently asked for our "prayer chain" to pray for our family, I asked them to "Please pray for the total restoration of our family, living together again as God intended it. Please pray for each of us to open our hearts and our minds to God's will and perfect design for us." which I thought was about as vague yet specific as I could be. Of course, several members of the church approached me and asked about that. I, being brand new at this, and especially still completely raw about the OW broke down some and allowed them to comfort me. The wonderful thing is, they understand my desire to stand for my marriage and my faith that God can still do amazing things in my life, with or without my H but the support the fact that my biggest dream would be to reconcile our family with H. Much of my family will not support this, especially if they find out about OW (I'm going to try to keep that under wraps as much as I can). It just feels good to have support in person, even if they don't completely understand the dynamics of MLC.

I'm back home but stayed dressed. I think getting dressed may be a key action item of moving forward. I find it harder to wallow in my clothes than in my pj's.