WAH - Chapter 4 Lisa B

[Ahoy]

Lisa, your story is similar to mine in many ways. All I can say is that if I didn't have a kid, I would probably be done and go ahead and dissolve the marriage.

Here is a question for you though -- do you have to be in a hurry to D, or can you just move on with your life and see if he files. A good friend whose been through tough times with her H told me that it took them about 9 months to feel different about each other. My parents best friends went through the same thing, with a similar timeline. So I guess maybe ask yourself if you have to be in a hurry to get clarity. Or can you just enjoy your life for what it is right now and maybe not give so much attention to your H. Just let that evolve as it will.

That being said, I feel the same way many days. I want the limbo to be over. I want to move on. But I also want to be a person who is not reactive. And I want my H to take responsibility for the D if that's where we end up. Sometimes I think he is pushing me to file so he doesn't have to take the blame for it. I'm not planning on giving him that -- he will have to end the M knowing that it was his decision, and that I'm not the "bad guy." Then if he has regrets later, he can only blame himself.

Time is your friend, Lisa. Don't be in a hurry. You don't have to love him right now, just love yourself.