I'm probably being a bit thick but I'm not sure I get what you mean MrBond. The bit about allowing my wife to control my actions.
Her chief complaint is that we always have to do it my way and that I'm too controlling.
Fundamentally though this all stems from the fact she has never and now knows she can't ever forgive me for the way I hurt her a couple of years ago. I would do anything to make up for it but have never known what or how. My Ws view is that I've done the opposite and made things worse.
Both mid 30s, 2 young kids BD 7sep14 XW moved on long ago, now living with OM1 D paperwork in progress