So I guess with the boards being down my long post vanished. I posted in piecing awhile back and didn't get much traffic and was redirected here so I'm not really sureeeeee I for in although I'm not done DB'ing
We definitely still have a lot of things to work on and I still read this forum often although it is hard to keep up with everyone.
We have MC again this week and boy do we need it. Well I really need it. I still have the thoughts in the back of my mind of can I really forgive H. On the outside and to him it seems I have but internally I really struggle with it.
I also see both of us exhibiting old behaviors that I'm trying to change. For ex : he insists on fixing the water pipes (weeks without hot water) he wants to save the5k and have his contractor friend and him do it - great! I was all for it. But weeks have passed and nothing was done. I tried my best to DBthis. H - I know you've been so busy doing stuff around the house etc but I really want to be able to take a hot shower. It's been a few weeks and we have gotten no where. If there's something I can help with to get it moving or if it would be better to hire someone I think we should. You have a lot on your plate and I'm desperate for a hot shower (I said it while laughing)
He then reverts to his old ways and goes on about how he needs certain things to get it done and wasn't anticipating that but he will take care of it sometime this week (this has been the excuse for awhile now) then opens the door to walk out (aka avoid the conversation) and says all I do is nag. I bite back and says he hasn't changed one bit since he can't even have a normal conversation with me (not once before this was it yelling or arguing) and he said bc all I do is nag. Ugh. This is not what I want. We had a date night last night that went great but he cannot have a conversation when it's something HE doesn't want to discuss and I really don't know how to DB that. I can't just never bring up issues he doesn't like.
I feel like there's no way to go around bringing up things he doesn't want to discuss he just shuts down.
Trying my best to avoid getting myself into the situation I've been in the last 6 months. I feel like H is sorry but I don't feel like he is trying as much as he was. I've voiced concerns to him and all I get are excuses --- I'm busy your busy our work schedules are hard.
